Jodi No 1

Given that Bade Miyan and Chote Miyan in UP have been replaced by Ek Aur Ek Gyarah, Rahul Gandhi and Akhilesh Yadav appeared before the press in colour coordinated kurtas and jackets. Both Yuva, both Yuvraj. Same to same. But Akhilesh's is bigger than Rahul's. The nose that is.
Common', if apples and oranges are sold from the same political shop, who can resist comparing. Anyway, if you missed the presser, here is what happened.

The Prince bereft of a kingdom pretended to be a political pro. Flashing his dimples, he kept blabbering about his Sangam with the rebel Prince. The Dostana on display was hard to miss. Wait. Focus. Stop thinking about Jhon Abraham’s toned man lumps in yellow shorts. I’m not implying anything. It was Rahul who called this Sangam an alliance of hearts. Whatever that means. Go figure.

Rahul also mentioned Ganga Jamuna Sarawati, but I don’t know who was Ganga, who was Jamuna, and who was Saraswati. Unless Mayawati ji was also planning to wash hands in behti Ganga to cleanse UP of divisive forces. But Akhilesh clarified that he can’t give space to Behenji because “she takes up too much space”. “Even her symbol is elephant,” said Pinocchio. Oops, so impolite, that!

Haath Mera Saathi but Haathi Not Mera Saathi? 

When pen wielders and mic munchers reminded Rahul of his past,  he said, “History is not static, it keeps changing." Phew!! Wonder why he makes these ho hum statements.

Many are still making sense of the Aloo Ki Factory that he plans to install at the speed of Escape Velocity to Empower Women. Phrases of the kind Rahul ji serves us are as precious as Arvind Kejriwal’s movie reviews and Amar Sins phone sex with Bips.

So AkhiRa or RaAkhi, whichever way you want to look at, are being promoted as UP ke Ladke. Good. Whatever it takes to stop Modi from winning the Dangal. UP, a state bigger than most countries needs deserving boys and not the UP ke ladke jinse galti ho jati hai. For all we know or care, Rahul may be lip synching this duet with Akhilesh but the song was originally sung by – Dimple and Dimple. I mean dimpled Priyanka Gandhi and Dimple Yadav, UP ki bahurani. That Priyanka communicated with Dimple was acknowledged by none other than Ahmad Patel. 
 Priyanka Gandhi and Dimple Yadav, they say, are the architects of this Hum Saath Saath Hain act. Which, actually is a tacit admission of the failure of Rahul’s leadership.

The BJP can put on a brave face, but Jai-Veeru bonhomie is likely to give Thakur some sleepless nights. Given that BJP has neither a credible CM face nor ground work to show, it won’t be easy to get votes on the basis of their Sultan and his promises. For all my support for the PM, narrow chauvinistic pounding by his MLAs where Hindu women are asked to pop quintuplets to beat the minorities is not necessarily an election winner. The anxiety was evident when Mr Katiyar said that if Congress had Priyanka, the BJP too had many pretty faces like Kirron Kher. 

Well, ahem. Dimple for dimple. Let the men folk decide. I said nothing.

It’s amusing how Priyanka Gandhi emerges in crisp cottons during UP elections like Rekha does in gold Kanjeevaram during Filmfare awards. Many are calling Priyanka’s resemblance with Indira Gandhi a trump card. Really? It's like saying Robert Vadra should sing because he resembles Freddie Mercury.  

Anyway, now that Priyanka has emerged on the political minefield, can Vadra bomb be far behind? Despite his cases, Vadra ji could have been an asset for his wife, but what to do? Sirjee is a little short in the humility department.

 If Akhilesh and Rahul are able to Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Shivpal Yadav may have to say Sorry Bhai, and Raees Amar Singh might be Airlift-ed back to UK.

May the Kaabil team win.

Watch the PC here

Image Courtesy: ABP Live, www.ansa.it