Name Factor

Most young couples will tell you the names of their future progeny, “If it’s a girl, we’ll call her X, if it’s a boy, Y”. But regardless of parent’s effort and imagination, children are rather bored with their names. It's human nature. I’ve often dreamt how my life would be different if I had a different name – something exotic, something contemporary. Something that would make folks sit up and say, “Oh what a lovely name!”

Growing up, I had two namesakes in my class. Since I’m not in touch with them, let me tell you that both were rather dumb. Nice, but dumb. So even if the meaning of my name has something to do with meteorite showers (Ulkas, I’m told), the brightness factor did not rub us the right way. Because, like the others, I was pretty average. 

 Then, when I grew up, my namesake was a sweet singing sensation until she crooned ‘Ek Do Teen’ and ‘Choli Ke Peeche’ to become synonymous with raunchy numbers. The trouble with having notorious namesakes is that your image gets linked to the famous name. It is hard to be called Arnab without wondering what the nation wants to know, or Mulayam without explaining your views on rape, or Sunny without, well, forget it. So lately, when I seek attention by feigning headaches, I am told, “Don’t do a Lamba.” Well, so much for Alka Lamba’s anti-drug crusade in Delhi.
Anyway, I am not complaining because my plight is nothing compared to the predicament of Hardik’s and Indrani’s. If you don’t believe me, look at the response to this tweet from Indrani Mukherjea’s namesake. 

Pic Courtesy: Twitter

So, while I was dreaming of a life with an exotic name, I read about the trend to arm babies with intimidating names that give a good start in this competitive cut-throat world. According to a US daily, “More children in the US are being given names related to guns, knives, historical warriors, dark goddesses and macho movie stars like ‘Danger', 'Arrow', 'Rebel', 'Pistol' and 'Arson'. Most popular of all is 'Gunner', which was given to more than 1,500 babies in the US last year. A nation which has seen significant gun violence this year, baby boys are named 'Trigger', 'Shooter', 'Caliber', 'Magnum' and 'Pistol'.”

Kindness and softness, it appears have paved way for aggression and boldness. Is it any surprise therefore, that 'Sugar' and 'Melody' have been replaced with ‘Kali’ - the Hindu goddess of power and destruction? Meanwhile, five boys were named 'Danger', eleven 'Arson' nine 'Chaos' and 'Rebel' was given to 47 babies.”

In the Indian context, I can imagine a generation of Toofans, Aflatoons and Khiladis, where every alphabet has a purpose, where every connotation plays on the psyche and where people go, “Kya solid name hai boss!” Many on Twitter are already playing with intimidating names like Gabbar, Bloodthirsty Vampire and rather interesting, KatDoMarDo.
In reality, however, I’m not sure if an intimidating name provides a great head start because look at Tiger Shroff! I am not even sure if names affect destinies because Uday Chopra is yet to rise, unless his birth in a privileged clan was already the ultimate Uday.

At the end of the day, naming trends follow fashion much like music and clothes do. A name really doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t play with your self-esteem. As the realization dawned, I felt awful for wanting to change my name. In a fit of boredom, I typed my name on the Google bar. Google contradicted my parents to tell me that my name actually means a ‘long haired lass’. But, all I have is a few strands of dried devastated crop? 

Since it was too late to change the name, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could have long lustrous hair? The name would fit accordingly.”