You Are Not Invited

Obama Mehman, Pakistan Pareshan

Modi Hit, Sharif Chit

While surfing channels, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon such brilliance on our Hindi news channels. The ticker writers can convert any issue into a joke. But who can blame these rhyming maestros when invitation politics is playing on the political terra firma.

There was a time, when family members were slighted by not inviting them for a family wedding. Likewise, the Congress party decided to ignore the PM by not inviting him for Jawaharlal Nehru's birthday celebrations. Since we all know who takes the final call in the Congress party, looks like someone in the Khangress really hates someone with a beard.

Was the PM offended? I don’t know. What I know is that our pollies are watching too many serials. And I blame Ekta Kapoor for this messy state of affairs. Because the juvenile act of inviting all the parties except the BJP, seems to be inspired by 'Kabhie Souten, Kabhie Saheli' or some such serial, where women plot vicious schemes to torment each other. So clearly, a malevolent matriarch is not exclusive to television serials.Or Bollywood.

If you think I am talking through my hat, why did the ‘rebel-with-no-cause’ decide to share a platform with her arch rival Sitaram Yechury, during the commemoration of Jawaharlal Nehru’s 125th birth anniversary? Such was her rage against the Rightists that she found solace in the presence of the Leftists! It was a crummy spectacle of all the kids joining hands to beat the class monitor with a secular stick. 
Several other cliches pile up like a regressive serial where enemy’s enemy becomes a friend. Lalu and Nitish, for instance. Which is why, according to a fuming  ‘rebel-with-no-cause’, a conspiracy was hatched to indict her right hand man only because she attended a party where the class monitor was not invited. In retaliation, our Kolkatta girl refused to attend the all party meet, even though she was invited. The plotting and the scheming are getting murkier by the day. Why, when folks are allegedly staging bomb blasts, even national security is off limits! Because it is not important to succeed - it is important that others fail.

And now after the masterstroke of inviting President Obama, missiles are going to fly this Republic Day. That Obama accepted the invite with such alacrity has already caused some heartburn. I am expecting another round of invitation vendetta.What if some sycophants organize a yagna to pray for a downpour on the Republic Day? As a result, what if Mommy and Sonny are not invited for the state dinner? What if only Shashi Tharoor from the Congress is invited? The possibilities are immense. Again, because it is not important to succeed - it is important that others fail.

For now, it seems that our Man of Action is not bothered by these petty games. All good, as long as his love for his own voice does not turn a blind eye to all the other voices.

Also on Huffington Post.