Pick Up Lines

The trigger for writing this piece is a news snippet I read today. According to a UK based newspaper, George Clooney wooed his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin, by e-mailing flirty messages, including a message that said, ‘The world’s hottest man should meet the hottest human rights lawyer’. Which means that pick-up lines are not an exclusive preserve of teens and tweens. Being of incurably curious mind, I can’t stop but think what Diggs said when he was wooing a pretty journalist. ‘Mein Nahin Hum’. Or ‘Now that I’ve met you, I’ll cancel my shaadi.com account’.

If I go back in time,  the rules of wooing have changed dramatically. In the Bollywood obsession phase, much before the arrival of Facebook or Whatsapp, film songs did the job of pick-up lines admirably. Interested parties would send radio requests or hum a few lines commenting on the depth of those eyes, or the beauty of that lethal smile. In the absence of a virtual world, there was no choice but to muster enough courage and say, ‘Can we be friends?’ All the while protecting one cheek, and preparing to flee in case the girl decided to take off her sandals. Because prior to Facebook, friendship request actually meant, can we go on a date? In some cases it also meant, will you be my wife and the mother of my children?

Regardless, most women would agree that pick-up lines are tacky and cheesy. Any intelligent woman will hate that a man actually thought a pick up line would work on her. So why use pick-up lines?

The basic premise, I think is Hasee To Phasee. But a lot depends on who is saying what and where. The context. The setting. The chemistry. The intent. Introductory pick-up lines backfire unless the chemistry is already working. The ones with sexual tones are a big No-No. Expect one tight slap if you begin with a, 'Hello. Your place or mine?' 

Coming back to my favorite topic, the political seducers and seducee are ready for bed hopping. The BJP, I hear is wooing allies to boost the numbers in the Rajya Sabha. Since the top brass is busy placating egos, may I suggest some pick-up lines to woo alliance partners. Why, even their own sulking women folk can be manaoed with ‘Is it hot here or is it just you?’Sush Ji would be more than happy.

For AIDMK :

They say friendship starts with F. I think it starts with J.

For BJD:

I will never let you fall. Because I have a band-Aid for you.

For TMC:

You are like a candy bar. Half sweet, half nuts.

For BSP:

Baby, you shouldn’t get your statues erected. It’s messing with perfection.

(If the BJP get less than 200)

For AAP:

Your broom just swept me off my feet.

For RAAP( Rakhee Sawant’s Party - I am sure she is winning):

Baby, you are like Gillette. The best a man can get. 

Image Courtesy: Google Images