Abki Baar, Akshay Kumar

Fully Faltu - This is a David Dhawan post

The Election Commission clinched a partnership with the nation’s conscience keeper, Aamir Khan, declaring him a National Icon. According to the news, they even recorded a video-audio campaign where Aamir urges people to vote ‘ethically’. Consequently, Aamir joined the exalted company of another legendary national icon - Abdul Kalam.

 

Then Aamir featured in a mischievous AAP poster depicting Arvind Kejriwal, Aamir Khan and Abdul Kalam with a label showing AK1, AK2 and AK3 respectively.Though Aamir denied supporting any political party, the controversy raised doubts over declaring Aamir as a national icon for the General Elections.

Meanwhile Aamir's Bollywood friends sensed an opportunity in troubled polity. Each time Aamir is feted, most of them get a rash. Who doesn't want to be a national icon? Being sensitive to any number race, the top AKs of the film industry came together to reclaim the title of National Icon - AK1.


Anil Kapoor (ruffling his hair): If the EC really wanted AK as a national icon, they should have contacted my secretary. After all, I am the original AK.

Akshay Kumar: Really? What do you know about politics? Do you know that the current poll slogan is -  Mein Khiladi, Tu Anari. Ab Ki Baari, Atal Bihari.

Anil Kapoor (surprised) : Bakwaas karta hai. Arrey, Atal ji is not even contesting this time. This time it is Advani ji. Plus, I  shook hands with Steven Spielberg. Does that not count for anything?

Akshay Kumar: Excuse me? If you have done foreign flicks, I have done foreign chicks. Errr..I was referring to cooking chicken  in Bangkok. But Boss, kuch bhi kaho, I am the real AK1.

Anil Kapoor: Huh? That reminds me. At least my name is original. Weren't you originally called Rajiv or something?

Arbaaz Khan (jumps in): I am not so imagining this. Being the producer of the highest grosser, Dabangg, I am the real AK. Arrey, even my director was AK- Anurag Kashyap. Plus my wife was a judge at the current Miss India pageant. And she pouts and poses even when she is brushing her teeth! Beat that!

Akshay Kumar (snaps his Dollar baniyaan): So? My wife is the daughter of Rajesh Khanna, a Lok Sabha member. Politics runs in my family.  

Anil Kapoor: Rubbish. Even Sonam wants to enter politics. So? Doesn’t seniority count for anything?  (ruffles his hair and tilts his head on one side) Jhakass.

Arbaaz Khan (shaking his head): You can take Anil Kapoor out of Bollywood to Hollywood, but you can’t take the Lakhan out of Anil Kapoor! Seriously, if seniority is a benchmark then veteran actor, Ashok Kumar should be declared AK1.

Arjun Kapoor (joins the discussion) :  Ha ha...the old Ashok Kumar?  Imagine him singing, 'Mere Sajan Hain Us Paar, Main man Maar. Abki Baar Modi Sarkaar'. Oldies, look at me. A young AK for a young nation?

Anil Kapoor: Shabash mere cheete! The title stays in the family. 

Akshay Kumar:  I'll tell you why one political party will never accept you. Because you insulted Chai-wallahs in Slumdog Millionaire.

Anil doesn't get the connection. But hearing noise, Aamir Khan walks in.

Aamir Khan: Calm it guys. As a national icon, you have to ask people to vote ethically. It is not about taking sides or coining slogans. Why don't you read the constitution first? Better still, go ahead and vote on April 24, 2014.

Anil Kapoor: Read the constitution? Vote? On April, 24, I am in Tampa Bay, attending the award ceremony, IIFA.

Akshay Kumar( cheesy grin): I am busy with Dostana 2. But how does it matter?  Koi bhi sarkaar,  Desh Ka Star to Akshay Kumar. 

Image: www.concoction.in (Google Images)