Yours Seriously

They say, when a person cannot laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.  Some are serious by birth. Some victims of circumstances. And some get infected with age. Left untreated, the seriococci virus results in AWDS - Acquired Wit Deficiency Syndrome. People don't even realize how serious their life is, until someone asks them about their idea of fun. “Hain? Fun? Do I look like a kid?”

So, let’s end the hoopla, and cut to the chase. Here are some serious samples I have come across.

Serious Reader

I am sure it happens to you. Given that I dabble in humor and satire, it happens to me all the time.There you are writing a tongue-in-cheek piece, and suddenly wham, serious reactions begin to pour in from all directions. What is with people taking jokes seriously? So, even if the post is a funny take on Bappi Lahiri joining a political outfit, this is what I expect:

Annoyed Indian (seriously angry): The article shows that the writer is a thoughtless, brainless retard. What goes of her father if Bappi da wants to serve the nation?

Serious Gal: Annoyed Indian, you lack upbringing. You got paid to write this?

Annoyed Indian: Upbringing? Watta joke, are you from stone age lady?

Seriously Crazy Guy (refuses to read the article or the preceding comments): WTF? Bappi Da’s muzic is not a joke. It has soul, unlike that ‘Tere doggie ko mujpe bhonkne ka nai’.

Serious Gal(flexes her serious feminist muscles): Stone age? Doggie? Deep down every man is the same. Seems you got bashed by your wife. Serves you right.



What is obvious, is that emotions are amplified on electronic media. One reason could be that social networks are an ideal place to seek concurrence for your views without explaining the context. Moreover, we live in such fractured times that one man’s hero is another man’s villain. It doesn’t matter whether you are a right winger, a left winger or a moderate - the thin line between having opinions and being opinionated has blurred. And I am not talking about anonymous trolls here.

Serious Activists

Serious activists are so sensitive that they begin sanitizing the society by telling you how to think. While they profess respect for opponents, they want the opponents to curl up and die. They are so serious that they take freedom seriously. Freedom to resort to violence, freedom to abuse, freedom to shout, freedom to insult and freedom to poke their nose into everyone else’s business. Kuch bhi. After all, condition serious hai.

Drunk Serious

They are an adorable lot. Basically they are not serious. But after guzzling down a few pegs, the overflow of seriousness becomes seriously funny. I am sure you can identify with the following.
‘Kam**ne, shaadi kar li? Par voh to teri bhabhi thi re. Achcha chod, yeh mat samajh ki pee kay bol raha hoon. Main teri dil se izzat karta hoon be. Promise, pucca, kal se daru band. Serious.’

Serious Aunty

Let me share an anecdote here. I live on the tenth floor and the lady who is on the ninth floor of my apartment is always disgusted with something or the other. I dread her calls even if she calls to invite me for her granddaughter's birthday.

Aunty: What have you done?

Me: What happened?

Aunty (seriously angry): How can you be so careless? It ij hanging in my balkoney.

Me: (I rush out and see nothing but my bed cover hanging on the railing). What is hanging in your balcony?

Aunty: Your lawn-giri.

Me: Huh?

Aunty: Arre baba, your lacy stuff. It ij entangled in the tassels of your bed cover.  What if my husband saw it? Next time I find it dangling in my face, I am going to burn it.

Phew! Talk about bra-burning.

Finally, I come back to my favorite category - serious readers. They lurk around every nook and corner of the cyberspace. What if I publish this post on any website other than my blog? It will be an open game.  This is what I expect from anonymous readers.

Serious Nerd: Why do you even write? Even a ten year old can write better than this.

Argumentative Indian: Really? Who are you to judge her writing? A Booker Prize winner?

Selfish Netizen (serious about promotion, article be damned): The video you posted is really nice. Do visit my photography blog. www.sultrycheeks.cum

Serious Nerd(ignores the Selfish Nettie and gives it back to the Argumentative Indian): So you think only Booker Prize winners can write? Have you read Tagore? Or are you the Chetan Bhagat types?

Argumentative Indian: I guess u tried to crack JEE entrance but couldn’t. Right? Tsk, tsk.Go to mommy!

Serious Nerd: You think IIT-ians are God’s gift to mankind? Look what that ‘Muffler Topi Guy’ did to Delhi! Disgusting.

Selfish Netizen (serious about his own promotion): Hey, wassup? I am giving five packets of Gas Bhagao Churan free. Yes, free!!!Unbelievable isn’t it? Log on to www. gasbhagao.org. Order now. Follow me on twitter. 

Hell hath no fury like a person defending his state, caste, religion, sex or gender. The condition then becomes so serious that the AWDS infected patient lands straight in an ICU.
 Arrey baba, it is our work, and not ourselves, that we need to take seriously. Someone rightly said, dream as you'll live forever, live as you'll die today.
So how about munching that yummy caramel loaded Five Star lying in your refrigerator. 

This post is written for Indiblogger Cadbury Five Star contest - Condition Serious Hai.