Mad Men, Dacoits and Item Girls

All because the honorable Home Minister called the honorable Chief Minister of Delhi, ‘Yeda', some reporters experienced multiple orgasms. Excitedly, they went around town, shoving microphones, collecting sound bites on this Yeda remark.

“What do you think about Shinde Ji calling Kejriwal ‘Yeda’?

Clearly the media was fishing for more. Maybe they were expecting someone to quip, ‘Tu Yeda, Tera Baap Yeda, Tera khaandaan Yeda.’ 
Thankfully, no one obliged.

When reporters asked Mukhtaar Abbas Naqvi of the BJP to comment on the ‘Yeda’ remark, he said, “I have nothing to say about, ‘Yeda, Peda or Bakheda’.”

And if this was not enough, Udhav Thackeray Ji called the Aam Admi party an ‘Item Girl’ of politics. Eh? Trust Chetan Bhagat to ignite such controversy.
Never mind! You don’t disagree with Shiv Sena unless you are on a suicide mission.

Almost immediately, responsible media rushed towards Ms. Sawant to get her valuable inputs on this important national development. A more than happy Rakhee stirred, dabbed some pan cake, and emerged to express her priceless opinions on IIT-ian Kejriwal. According to her, Kejriwal is corrupt. Phew!

Yeh din bhi dekhna tha, I tell you.

So the lady was not offended by the item girl remark. I don’t blame her. You need two or three grey cells to recognize a back handed compliment. Frankly, this game of calling names is complicated. I am scratching my own head to understand who insulted whom!

Just when I thought I had enough, Mulayam Ji dared Modi Ji and implied that Modi ji’s ‘aukat’ was not enough to change the fortunes of UP. Modi ji, in his testosterone dipped voice roared that you need a ‘chappan inch ka seena’ to govern a state. The responsible media rushed to get counter bites from the SP. They fell for the bait and said that Modi Ji’s chest barb was a boast of a Chambal dacoit.

While I was assimilating the connection between chest flaunting and governance, I realized that we have a great choice for PM in beefy Uday Chopra. Other than abs and biceps, he had little else to show in Dhoom 3.
Why, even Himesh Reshamiyya is back after losing weight and pumping iron. Strangely, Himesh bhai’s case is like Rahul bhai’s in many ways. Both can spend 500 crores on image building and yet nothing changes. 

Image: www.ibnlive.in

 Since chest measurements are a prerequisite for good governance, I hear boys screaming Sunny, Sunny (Leone not Deol) and girls screaming Salman, Salman! Indeed, Salman was seen flying kites with the Iron Man who has similar chest size. Matching-matching.

It is not that Salman endorses Modi ji, heavens no. Salman was simply promoting Jai Ho! Strange that a movie previously called ‘Mental’ is being released as ‘Jai Ho’. If you get the connection between ‘Jai Ho’ and ‘Mental’ do let me know. Anyway, a Sallu movie has everything other than a plot. As long as beefcake thrusts pelvis in hundred funny ways and defies gravity, who cares whether we are watching Mental, Judgmental, Departmental, Sentimental or Accidental!

Kahan se Kharidi itni bakwaas dictionary, you ask? Well, dictionary be damned. Jibes in the form of new words are flying all around.

The Home Minister calls Kejriwal, ‘Yeda’, the BJP distributes ‘Peda’ and the media creates a ‘Bakheda’.

Who needs a reality show? News is good enough.

Image: facebook.com