Wardrobe Woes

Wedding, wardrobe, and women. Can it get more complex than that? Not unless it is a hung Delhi Assembly, 2013. Forget politics, let’s talk wedding shedding.

At a wedding this week, I realized I was stuck in the seventies like the Congress and the world had whizzed past in a swish broom stroke of AAP. Clearly, a lot had changed in the past decade.

In the old simple days, the bride was decked by relatives or friends who knew a thing or two about make-up. Today, like media to controversy, the entire women brigade is drawn to beauty salons. Looking exceptional is not an exclusive preserve of the bride or her friends on the threshold of life changing event. Sonipat Wali Chachi Ji also wants ‘matching-matching’ orchids in her hairdo. Poor thing! She remembered the orchids but forgot to wear underpants, revealing the satin skirt wedged between her ample derriere – embarrassingly obvious through the net fabric of her dress. Forgive me for this gross imagery but sometimes images express better than words.

To think that the ‘look-good’ business is women centric is as erroneous as BJP’s stand on homosexuality. As a result, the groom and his friends arrived much after midnight after a marathon spa session. If you ask me, men look better without lip gloss, blusher and foundation.

Like Obama at Mandela’s funeral, almost everyone gave in to the temptation of self-indulgence. The obsession of clicking selfies was obvious. No wonder ‘Selfie’ is the word of the year. Have you noticed that women are more interested in gawping at their own picture in any group photograph? Nothing wrong with that at all. When one is seeking acceptance on social media, the picture has to be perfect.

So, after tolerating high decibel Honey Singh, when my ear drums protested, I marched towards the DJ like Lalu Ji marched out on bail. Hands crossed at the back – chest out, stomach in.

Me: “Why don’t you play some soft music?”

I didn’t expect him to switch to instrumental music, but I was definitely expecting something more than an indifferent shrug.

Me: “Can you reduce the volume at least?”

Dismissing my dissent and ignoring me like the Congress ignored Shiela Dikshit, he increased the volume. And when I saw teens shaking rhythmically to the beat of ‘Aunty Police Bula Legi’, I decided to shove it. The ego was somewhat bruised, yes.

While waiting endlessly for the groom to arrive, older men sipped wine and women indulged in some solemn discussion about who’s going to wear what for the reception. My friend had a serious problem. She was agonizing over the fact that her footwear did not match her outfit. While we were tsk- tsking over her dilemma, my husband could hardly fathom the seriousness of this discussion.

No point explaining. He won’t get it. For any matching-matching business, you need two X chromosomes.

When it comes to clothes, it makes sense to go by your common-sense. That is, if you decide to give it a chance. At the end of the day, people remember you for how you conduct yourself. And not because your blouse displayed acres of back encased in golden threads. While looking good and dressing well is desirable, an obsession with both kills who you are.

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Picture Courtesy: pininterest.com