Physics Unplugged

After P3 (Politician, Philosopher, Physicist) successfully applied the concept of escape velocity for social justice, politicians are hiring Biologists, Physicists and Geologists as their speech writers. Moreover, a survey revealed that more than 90% of web-savvy urbanites will vote this time. As a result scientific oratory has gained huge momentum.

In his latest speech, P3 tried his hand at Biology when he used Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection to bust the myths around dynasty. Addressing hawkers and rag pickers, the young leader explained: Boss, let me make it easy for you. Natural Selection is about natural process of survival. A rabbit that runs faster than his peers is likely to escape from predators. And I am the rabbit here. Do you get it? 
 
Crowd: Umm..Yes.

P3: Okay, so keeping Physics in mind let me tell you that our leader Dr. Singh is a firm believer of the Murphy’s Law.

Hawker: Murphys’ Law?

P3:  The law states that ‘If anything can go wrong, it will’. 

After this speech, an impressed reporter asked: Since you have deep understanding of the subject, what do you think about the Theory of Relativity?
In a Eureka moment the young leader said: When I am traveling abroad, an hour seems like a second. And when I am interacting with you, a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity! 
 

Terms used in Physics are resonating with politicians of all wavelengths. Another Haryana leader was seen explaining water woes on the basis of Archimedes Principle. Addressing a Khap Panchayat he equated water with alcohol and Haryana Water Supply Department with ‘Theka Desi Sharaab Ka’. No one quite understood the connection, but the political rivals are likely to sink by the weight of the argument.

Leaders in Andhra Pradesh are using Pascal's Law to exert pressure on the Centre which is being transmitted equally in all the directions. 
Likewise, Mulayam Ji addressed a rally in UP. Rather intelligently he used Fermat's Principle - The Principle of Least Time. Mulayam equated a ray of light with his ministers. He said that the path taken by a politician between any two points in a system is always the path that takes the least time. This essentially meant that government officers between two postings can be dismissed within fourteen minutes flat! After this brilliant analogy, Mulayam was invited to write the script for the new season of The Big Bang Theory.

Apparently, scientific jargon has gained such momentum that Diggy used Newton’s Law of Motion to explain the reasons behind the malaise which afflicts  his tongue. 
He said: I can't help it. Neither can Azam Bhai. My tongue continues in its state of constant motion unless it is acted upon by an external force. 
When the General Secretary was asked about his reactions on the Nagpur based organization he said:The action and reaction are simultaneous. It does not matter which is called the action and which is called the reaction - neither force exists without the other.

Meanwhile, when Namo was asked about theories of Physics he said: I study myself more than any other subject. That is my metaphysics.

(This is a work of fiction as imagined by the writer. Picture is from Google Images)