Who lit the fire?

Image Courtesy Facebook

Promotional Panga!

A recent survey reveals that Comedy Nights with Kapil, a comedy show on Colors, is the best platform for any promotional activity. The survey was based on an on-line poll conducted by a Patiala based Sidhu Fan Club. No wonder, King Khan’s appearance on the show resulted in the stupendous popularity of Chennai Express. Why, even Grand Masti was a grand success after the charismatic Vivek Oberoi graced the sets of Comedy Nights.

Bad may be bacterial, but vulgar is viral.

Reportedly, Indra Kumar, the producer of Grand Masti has announced a sequel called ‘Grrr-andest Masti’, which will be India’s official entry for Oscars in 2014. This was confirmed by Goutam Gosh, the Chairman of the film selection committee.

In an attempt to tap the unmatched popularity of Comedy Nights, Arvind Gupta, the BJP’s IT Cell Head, expressed  Modi’s desire to grace the comedy show. Reports suggest that host, Kapil Sharma was hesitant but relented after India’s Quote Express, Navjot Singh Sidhu threatened to go on a hunger strike. Insiders reveal that Kapil Sharma is eager to fight elections next year. He dreams of being the next Information and Broadcasting minister. Be that as it may, in so far as Mr. Manish Tiwari is concerned, this is a travesty of constitution beyond the jurisprudence of the esteemed parliamentarians, invoking an overreach of ambitions sought by the host of a juvenile comedy show...

Phew, whatever. It so happened that the news of Mr. Modi’s promotional idea reached the Congress Headquarters. Almost immediately a mysterious caller called Kapil and requested (read threatened) him to invite Rahul Ji on the show. Owing to huge political pressure, Kapil agreed to accommodate both NaMo and RaGa on a special episode to be aired on 2nd October 2014.

However, much before the show, a massive fire broke out on the sets of Comedy Nights at Filmcity in Goregaon on September 25, 2013. A Bollywood birdie feels the fire could have something to do with Khan rivalry and SRK’s recurrent presence on the show. Alternatively, Vivek Oberoi’s appearance and the subsequent success of Grand Masti could have ignited envious sparks. If you are unaware of the ‘Vivek-Bhai’ connection, you don’t deserve to read this any further.Nevertheless, the most credible story doing the rounds is that Kapil himself was responsible for the fire on his sets. Stick with me and I will tell you why! 

24th September, 2013

Rahul calls Kapil for clarifications. The prospect of appearing on television, the presence of his arch rival, and a live audience is a triple whammy for him.

Rahul: Boss, are you sure, there is no debate?

Kapil: Pucca. No debate and no speech.

Rahul: No questions on FDI, Fiscal Deficit or Foreign Policy?

Kapil: No, SirJi. At best, some silly girls will ask you, “Will you marry me?” or “What is Sonia Ji looking for in a daughter-in-law?” You can always say marriage is a state of the mind. I will take it from there.

Rahul: (Rolling his sleeves) Sound’s good.

After Rahul hangs up, Modi decides to call Kapil.

Modi: Finally, I will get a chance to debate with Rahul?

Kapil: No sir, the show is not about debates.

Modi: No debate? Okay, I will give a speech.

Kapil: No speech either. Sir, promotion is done via dance.

Modi: Dance?

Kapil: Sir, don’t worry. We’ll play Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram. You just have to sway a little with the audience.

Modi: Mahatma’s favorite bhajan? Good.

Kapil: No, not that...

The call is disconnected. Kapil is unable to explain that ‘Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram’ is a song from Krish 3. He even forgets to tell  about Dadi’s inebriated humour, juvenile jokes and her cross legged routine. Worse, bua’s amorous advances, particularly aimed at bachelors could jeopardize his chances of getting an election ticket. What if irrepressible Sidhu begins his volley of idiotic quotes, much to the discomfort of his guests?Above all, what if Rahul tears his script calling it Nonsense!

Disaster!

25th September, 2013

Unable to handle the idea of two towering personalities on his show, Kapil decides to destroy his own set. The show, they say, will resume after elections in 2014.



(This is a work of fiction. Readers are advised not to confuse this with real incidents.)