Phantom Forces

Oscar-winning director Ben Affleck will star as Batman in Warner Bros. ‘Man of Steel’ sequel. Super-heroes, phantom forces and invisible crusaders have always fascinated us. Fortunately, we have our own phantom forces that remain invisible, like Mr. India. So lethal is their influence that they can smash reputations and governments alike. If you happen to meet them, do say hello but don’t scream, “Aila, Superman!” They prefer to remain anonymous. 

The Clean Chit Giver: The final arbitrator of who is guilty and who is not, this man who issues Clean Chits is the President of the self-serving club of mutual back scratchers. He flashes a clean chit much before the investigation begins.The uncles, the son-in-laws and Godmen accused of assaulting young girls are given a clean chit in advance.

Do: Do ask him for a handful. You can use clean chits each time the traffic cop says, ‘Gaddi side ko le'.
Don’t: Don’t mess with him. You risk being crushed by a speeding truck or a sand lorry.

The Source: When the news anchor waves that sheet of paper and exclaims, “Your channel has proof,” you realize the might of the Source. The Source helps our news anchors to bash Pakistan, to seek answers from the mighty and to reveal any wheeling dealing. There is something about the source that spooks politicians across party lines. The Source is, I am told, visible only to the likes of Arnab and Rajdeep who view him through a red glass a la Mr. India. A source can. But you can’t. You can’t pigeon hole this source, that is. Is he a man, or a woman? No one knows.

Do: If you meet him, do thank the Source for exposing hidden skeletons.
Don’t: Don’t waste your time in details. Basically, the Source works in the interest of aam aadmi, so just let him/her be.

The File Keeper: If there ever was a phantom force that guarded the BJP Khand, the Congress Empire, the TMC Queendom or the SP Pradesh, it is the guy who keeps a watch on files needed by the investigating agencies. When sensitive files disappear in thin air (vanish or stolen by ghosts) one has to acknowledge the power of the File Keeper. The television anchors can hyperventilate all they like, but this formidable protector of files trumps all. No files, no case. Simple.

Do: Do admire the impenetrable air of confidence of this operative. News is that the guardian of the missing files (the additional secretary in the coal ministry) is exactly the same person who is chairing the inter-ministerial committee that has been set up to trace the missing files. Call it irony if you like. Read Here
Don’t: Don’t bash him. What Saboo was to Chacha Chaudhary, The File Keeper is to Chacha Jaiswal. The File Keeper simply follows instructions. His weak spot? A transfer order to a Maoist infested area.


Ben Affleck can play Batman, but he can never match our phantom forces. Remember 'The Foreign Hand' that used to instigate riots in the past? The same 'Foreign Hand' is now smashing our Rupee. Bang on!