The Name Game

Picture: Flickr.com

We are at the local grocery shop in my apartment. The owner, a native of eastern UP, offers sweets and invites us for the inauguration of his new shop in another apartment complex.

‘Congratulations. Where is the new shop?’

‘Erotica.’

I almost choke on the laddu.

‘What?’ I mean where?’

‘Erotica,’ he says happily. ‘Near the Masterpee Building.’

The husband nudges me, ‘He means The Exotica, near the Masterpiece Building.’

If you happen to live in an emerging city like Gurgaon, all too often, you will come across luxury condominiums with fancy names such as Miami Mansions, Belvedere Boulevard and Vista Villas. As long as the NRI’s are investing, the builders are least concerned about the phonetic challenges faced by house-helps, drivers and maids.

After all, the bijou abodes of globetrotting residents cannot be called Shanti Dhams or Prem Kutirs. When you shell out a fortune for Hollywood Heights, Trinity Towers or Eagleton Estates, you deserve to evoke that perfect emotion of admiration tinged with envy and awe among your peers. Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, never lived in an apartment called Sovereign Sojourn with a heated swimming pool and all weather VRV air-conditioning.

So far away from the Palladiums, Boulevards and Avenues of California, we have our very own islands of excellence. The apartments may be exotically christened but that is as far as modernity goes. Step out and reality hits when a mound of construction rubble greets you, and you realize that your fancy abode lacks sewer lines, gets power that is generator generated, and that the drinking water often gets mixed with sewage lines.

I wonder if Greenwood Villa would be any less modern if it was called Goverdhan Vilas? After all, what’s in a name? That which we call Blooming Bougainvilleas by any other name would be as beautiful. Right?

Wrong.

Perception. In a city like Gurgaon, Pune or Bangalore where every second resident has kissed foreign shores, your social existence hinges on packaging and perception. Ponty and Monty may have paved way for more traditional Parth and Manas, but the names of our abodes  match their western counterparts. All because, every generation wants new names to identify with their signature personality. Nothing wrong with it at all.

But I honestly feel for those who struggle to get the pronunciation right, as I am reminded of my own struggle with Gucci, Givenchy and Cannes. It is a double edged sword. Correctly pronouncing a foreign name can make you sound either too pretentious or too cool. For that matter, I still don’t know how to sputter ‘Raison d’être’. The funny thing is that we find it cute when a foreigner says ‘Daily’ for ‘Delhi’ but we take potshots at anyone who can’t pronounce ‘Leicester’ with a British lisp.

As I write, new 'global' residential projects are being launched and my social standing is likely to be dented. How am I going to pronounce Le Cirque, or The Royal Monceu?

( Originally published in Friday Gurgaon.)