Ladies Special

This is for all the impeccably dressed men with gelled hair and clipped nails, who graced the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival. Irrespective of how they looked or which designer they wore, unfortunately, most went unnoticed. The paparazzi preferred the fairer sex.

Debutante director Ritesh Batra’s film ‘The Lunchbox’ won the coveted Viewers Choice Award, and yet the media was more interested in Vidya Balan’s nose piece than his film. Do we even know who Ritesh Batra is? Or how he looks? No. But we do know the color of Ameesha Patel’s eye shadow.

The shimmy shimmer parade during film festivals and award ceremonies is all about women, glitz and glamour. For some strange reason, the media prefers to talk about Madonna’s conical bustier designed by Jean Paul Gautier she wore in 1991, rather than a film like ‘The Bling Ring’ which won rave reviews.
Come to think of it, the film festivals and other award ceremonies are women-centric fashion carnivals. There is little scope for men to compete. I mean, how many different black suits can you wear? Hundred bucks, if you can tell an Armani from a tux put together by my tailor in South Delhi. (Yeah, I know betting is illegal. My uncle is in the BCCI.) 

So clearly, a man can wear the same suit for all the events and go unnoticed. But imagine the Goddess of red carpet, Ashwariya Rai wearing the same sari on two occasions? All hell will break loose, Ash will be pilloried to pulp and the city of Cannes will  submerge in shame.While women get noticed, they also get dissected for everything from their hairdo to footwear. The opinionated messiahs of fashion have an opinion for every cut and every slit. What on earth was she thinking, the matronly dress added years to her figure, she looked like a headmistress at a prayer meeting, or plain and simple aunty ji (hurts the most).

There is no denying that men  were ignored, no matter what they wore. But there is hope for those who wish to create a red carpet history.

Wear a Sabyasachi Lungi: Remember Anurag Kashyap’s red gamcha at Cannes Film Festival last year? It was more talked about than his film. A brocade lungi or dhoti designed by Sabya can make a mark next year.

Strike the iconic one leg pose: The one bare leg exposed with a

thigh end split is a proven attention grabber. A trouser with a long slit may do the job. For added praise, get a tattoo on freshly waxed legs.

Wear Glitz, Bling: Breaking away from somber black suits, ask your tailor to custom design a transparent sequined coat to go with fluorescent trousers. Had Amitabh not worn that sequined black coat or that belt on his paunch, the media would have given him a cold shoulder.

Lift the lungi/dhoti: If nothing works, lift the damn thing. Irrespective of the merits of your film, you will be the most searched internet celebrity.

Others, like my husband, can happily wear five different white shirts and attend several events ranging from marriages to parties, to conferences to bereavement. No stress.