Do's and Don'ts

Ever since the opening of an email account, I have embraced the virtual world so devotedly that on days the internet is inaccessible, I feel a surge of uneasiness. However, I am still grappling with  virtual etiquette. Given that several hours are spent interacting with people I have never met, there are bound to be misunderstandings and mistakes. Which is why, I have made some resolutions. Here we go.

I shall refrain from checking random videos and pictures while writing. It is a serious distraction. Plus ‘Liking’ can land one behind the bars.
I shall not display my wry wit and comment on status updates which are meant for a close group of old friends. Being impatient and emotional to boot, I often end up commenting on an impulse. Recently I saw pictures of a distant cousin and his girlfriend formally dressed (boy in a suit and the girl in a sari with henna on her hands). Imagining that they got engaged, I congratulated them effusively on Facebook. I goofed up big time! The pictures were clicked on Diwali and there was no engagement.

I shall refrain from mindless voting/ promoting/liking unless I genuinely like the thought, content or writing style. Please don’t hate me for my honesty. Just as we need to dilute the virtual venom, we also need huge dollops of honesty in the virtual world. Now, don’t tell me you are always honest in praise. Didn’t you press ‘Like’ on the picture of Bhatinda wali Buaji even though you thought she looked hideous in her new hairstyle?

I shall not be patient with virtual zombies who are neither bloggers nor readers but are deeply concerned about my well being. Perhaps fits of boredom can drive people to try their luck in the cyber world. Hope lies eternal. Keep throwing arrows. Will hit somewhere!

So each time the guy in Dubai pings, “How’s you? Wassup?” I shall not lose my cool. Just as I did today when I replied, “I am good. How are you?”
Imagine my surprise when the guy said, “You looks good.”
“How about you,” I asked.
“I look good too.”
“Since you look so good why not upload your real profile picture instead of Salman’s?”
“I look better than him.”

I ran out of patience after this. But this provided enough fodder for a post.

I shall not fret on extra righteous comments made on my articles which are meant to be witty or sarcastic. Some people take life rather seriously.
I shall not get pissed by a comment which says – ‘Nice Post’ and has a blog link suggesting/implying that it is now time for me to visit the link and reciprocate.
I shall never leave the cake in the oven when I am on the internet. The husband had to gulp the piece with great difficulty. I do feign innocence by saying that dishes get overcooked when I am busy with other chores. But I guess the family knows what exactly happens.
I shall listen to my mother carefully each time she calls and not quip, “Ma, I will call you back. I am writing,” even when I am Facebooking with utmost dedication. Later on this makes me more guilty than having too many chips.

Finally, I will give more importance to real friends. Yes, even though they have dropped me like a hot-potato and are busy rattling witty one-liners and liking posts of virtual friends. Isn't it safer to like and share in the real world?

Too many resolutions?. What the heck! Making them is always easy. Keeping them is tricky.

Image Courtesy: Google images/ www.dreamstime.com