Spare Me Please!

If some people enter your living room uninvited, pakaao you to death, even as you frantically press that remote, what do you do? I flip television channels like a maniac, yet some faces refuse to leave me alone. They haunt me on subsequent channels. Their acts, perfectly choreographed for the sake of television have become my nemesis. And for the sake of my sanity, I sincerely request the following divas and dudes to disappear from my television this year.

Master of Verbosity
Mani Shankar Aiyyar - If ever there was a medal for mastering the art of ruffling feathers and creating controversies, Mr Aiyyar would bag the gold medal. He is disenchanted with his own party, yet defends it with all the intellect and pedagogy at his disposal. Honestly, I am tired of political verbosity. How about a break from NDTV Mr Aiyyar? But then, what will poor Swapan do? What will happen to all the verbal pyrotechnics played on NDTV prime time?

Hollywood Hoaxes

After Anil Kapoor’s two-minute avatar in ‘Mission Impossible’ and Mallika Sherawats blink-and-you-miss presence in the ‘The Myth’, I am not inclined to see any Bollywood star as a glorified extra eulogizing his /her Hollywood arrival on television. Anyway, Mallika has to descend back around New Year, to milk her old item numbers. And then she has the gall to make outrageous comments on television, “My jhatka’s priceless”. Seriously?

Smug Wizard

Ravi Shankar Prasaad - Where does his smug expression come from? Even though he professes respect for the opposition, he wants his opponents to curl up and die! Thank you, Mr Prasad for unleashing the moral lectures on behalf of your party. Since your actions are not in alignment with your righteous words, why not take sanyas from television? After all, how many slanging matches of scoring points can I watch?

Buff Queens

The trio of Poonam Pandey, Veena Malik and Ms Sawant can go take diving lessons from the cliff where Osama was thrown in the sea. Anyway, since they wear nothing and do nothing, they are giving rise to more dumb wannabes like Pooja Mishra. If the trio needs male company, they can take Himesh Reshamiya along. The guy has guts. And if Himesh promises not to torture me with a new movie this year, the girls can take other inmates of Big Boss.

Unconvincing defender

Mr Chandan Mitra, how about sticking to ‘The Pioneer’? Just because the BJP rewarded you with a Rajya Sabha seat, you defend the indefensible for them. Thank you, but we can see through the cobweb of words which you so passionately love to weave. You would be advised to refrain from proclaiming that ‘Two wrongs make a right’. They don’t.

Indignant Loyalist

Honestly, I love Renuka Chaudhary. She is sooo amusing. She has the knack of conversing with her eyes, her shrugs and her smirks. Yet, I wish she disappears from my television because she trivializes serious debates. And also because I don’t trust her! She is the female Kapil Sibal of UPA – with a lethal beatific smile.

Picture this.
In a prime time debate on Lokpal, Shazia Ilmi of IAC asks Ms Chaudhary about her governments intentions regarding fighting corruption. After some inane punches Ms Chaudhary rolls her eyes, and quips, “Why don’t you fast against dowry deaths and female infanticide?”

How lame? Any connection between dowry deaths and corruption is tenuous at best.
The Incorrigible Diggy

He is either pandering to his vote bank, or playing to a gallery, or indulging in plain sycophancy. His comments on RSS and Anna are like a wretched record, that keeps playing over and over again, except that each time it sounds even more raucous.

I am sick and tired of the bitching fests, sensational comments and slanging matches of scoring points. Words, verbosity and rhetoric have become meaningless for me. Debates have become demoralizing. More so after the Lokpal fiasco. How about a maun vrat for a year? Come back with vengeance in 2013.

Anyway, the world will be over by Dec 12, 2012.