Badle Ki Aag

If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? William Shakespeare

So you thought Anna was our nemesis. You thought you could hold a gun and force us to make suicidal laws according to your whims and fancies. And worse. You mocked us, belittled us and tarnished reputations. The movement is over. You have had enough fun at our expense. It is payback time folks.

That puny little Kejriwal, the angry young man will rue the day he initiated a movement against the state. The state which gave him a job and a loan of 80,000 rupees for a computer, can also give him sleepless nights. We sent a police team to his village to unearth his past wrongdoings. The police discovered that at age sixteen, Kejriwal once winked at a local girl. The police was unable to find that girl. Nevertheless, the police is now framing charges for misappropriate behavior. After all, the law has to take its own course.

And that theatrical ‘ghoonghat act’ by Kiran Bedi! She is looking for a role in a Yash Chopra movie or what? If only she was in service, she would be transferred to a place where no media has ever gone before. Bahut ho gaya, masti mazaak. It is time for law to take its own course. The governance might be in deep freeze but the revenge machinery works overtime. Behind the cultivated stoicism of ours, lurks a brute force. A force which neither forgives nor forgets.

What irked us most was the tipsy actor who called us ‘Ganwaar’. We are not sitting ducks that any common man can come and spit on the spotless khadi. We have set up a committee to research Hindi lexicons. The submission report tells us that ‘Ganwaar’ is a crossbreed of country lout and country bumpkin. That is beyond derogatory. All the mumbled apologies from Om Puri will not save his face (from being re-arranged).
Just like Salman, we let our fists do the talking.

And very soon that winky wonky Baba will disappear on his island in Scotland. Never to be seen again. Hasn’t his trusted aid vanished ? Being lawyers, the Bhushan duo are tough nuts to crack. Don’t be surprised if more such CDs come out from Amar jis potent arsenal.

What we are doing is not undemocratic. Remember what the biggest democracy in the world did to Julian Ass-ange, the father of Wikileaks? They slapped charges of rape. So what if the lady who was raped was sleeping? Its worse - raping a woman in deep slumber. And ever since that Ass-ange is running from one hiding to another.

But we are not America. We will not stoop to such levels. We play fair. We will do nothing to the writer of this blog post. If  she is found missing, try searching Tihar. She must have missed paying her electricity bill on time.After all, the law has to take its own course.