FAST AND FURY

An Open Letter by the Politicians to the Civil Society

Dear Civil Society,

This letter sincerely urges you to stop flirting with Anna and his Axe effect. An old man has captured the sentiment and spun it brilliantly. In fact he should participate in elections. But he won’t. Because then he will become us and you will hate him in equal measure.

How can you, the educated society, fall for this uneducated man? He left school after class VII and joined army just before the 1962 China War. He was shunted off to the border after he had taken on his superiors over corruption in civil supplies. That this man is a potential trouble maker and loose cannon, we should have known.

Let us come to your stage managed ‘page three’ movement. Being argumentative by nature, the cacophony of diverse voices will take the sting out of your unity. As long as swamis use your stage for yogic…oops political postures, we are safe. Also this fastocracy doesn’t work. Remember what happened to K Chandrashekhar Rao who was on a fast unto death for Telangana. See what we did to him. Bring on any law and we will unleash Sibal, Singhvi and Jaitly to unearth loopholes. We have entrusted the task of smearing reputations of your 'so called' honest leaders with wily spin doctors, Shri Kamar Singh ji and Shri Bigdijay Singh ji. They are veterans at throwing muck and hopefully some of it will stick.




So far, you have been regular tax payers, rule abiders, and Indian ambassadors abroad. You continue to pour your angst on facebook. Who is stopping you? Press the dislike button for us as many times you like. But why take to the streets? This is mobocracy. Isn’t there any difference between Tikait the Jat agitation leader and educated professionals like yourself?

Okay, so you are upset that there are no TV sets, cows, and mixer grinders for you. But do you come to vote? No na? No votes, no cash. This is democracy. Remember how you held candle light vigils in Mumbai after 26/11 and yet refused to vote six months later? Respected members of your civil society lost their deposits. Our power to molest democracy comes from your silence. And God knows how we love you for your silence. Muah!
A bottle of liquor is what it takes to buy a vote. Of course from your tax paid money. So what? Robin Hood did the same. We use what works. Money in Tamil Nadu, Violence in Bengal. This is democracy. When our clever minister said that 2G was a zero-sum loss and not 30,984 crore loss, you did not believe him. So we made him the new telecom minister. Our intentions were crystal clear when we made the same clever minister a member of the committee meant to provide teeth to the Lok Pal Bill. We are sure he will chew it to bits. This is democracy.
Some of you are saying that shaming the government is as easy as making a stripper blush. You think you can shame us? When we can chew fodder meant for cows, when we can grab houses meant for war widows and when we can manage a coffin scam, you sincerely think we are ashamed? Sorry! The gimmick by that ‘Cheeky Chetan’ of writing ‘Mera neta chor hai’ on his arm has upset Shri Pawar ji and Shri Karunanidhi ji so much that now they are contemplating writing, ‘Meri janta chor hai.’ How’s that for a tit for tat?

To set the record straight, we have as much disdain for the C word as everyone else. But so far we have been equal partners in crime. The only debatable factor has been the magical zeroes. You do 10 we do 10000000….Rightfully. Since we are mass leaders. Let us explain. In any business deal the politician gets only 15 percent and the entire chunk goes to the businessman. Did we ever go on a hunger strike? No na? You don’t need large sums of money, we do. You abet the corrupt practices of business and then enjoy the spoils of it. This is not done!

So even if you get your kicks by lampooning us, stop calling us corrupt for we are merely your reflections. We are not corrupt; incompetent maybe. Having said that we strongly believe that two wrongs always make a right. If one political party makes a mistake we follow suit. Same to same.

Finally we can debate this bill for another 42 years. It is debatable. After all what is 42 years in the life of a democracy? An Amul Baby!
Lage raho! Together we will take this nation somewhere. This is democracy.

Jai Hind